Teaching Wisdom and Respect

Recently I completed a Life Coach training course and was excited about the start of something new and wonderful. The process was eye-opening and emotionally upheaving. We were encouraged to share some of our personal experiences with classmates so that we would be prepared to handle real life issues. During one of our sessions a classmate expressed how she was tired of being taken advantage of by her family, friends and co-workers. She was given the title of the "go to" person at an early age and in time it became a very draining duty. If someone was sick, needed a hand organizing an event or wanted a shoulder to cry on she was there, regardless of what was going on in her life. She admitted that there never seemed to be anyone there for her to confide in or lean on. There was so much time focused on others that she put all of her personal worries and concerns on the back burner.

Eventually she found herself in a state of exhaustion and resentment due to the demands on her time. She felt that in some instances she was truly needed and felt obligated to help. But in others she realized she was being taken advantage of. She didn’t know how to break the cycle without disappointing loved ones. As we gave loving feedback on her situation I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Phil that states "we teach people how to treat us." By allowing her family and friends to violate her boundaries she was giving them the OK to do so.

Do you find yourself attracting the same type of relationship (romantic and non-romantic) over and over again and wonder why? Or are there certain relationships in your life that need to be revamped? Know that we set the tone for how others treat us by allowing and accepting things that don't leave us feeling uplifted and appreciated.

People will do only what we allow them to do. So if it's respect that you want, insist upon it. If unconditional love is what you desire, accept nothing less.

Living for Today

Lately, my family and I have been spending fun time together catching up on movies before they go out of the theaters. In the past I would often ask friends that have seen a movie of interest what happened at the end. Many were reluctant to spoil the ending by telling me, but I always managed to get them to disclose the big "ta-da". In my mind I needed to know what to expect so I would be emotionally prepared. I was never one for surprises (I didn’t want to be faced with sad ending, which almost always led to a runny nose and puffy eyes).

Once a dear friend poked fun at me gently when I grilled her for the latest storyline and pointed out that I always seemed to be very concerned with what was going to happen next. She was very correct in her observation. When I would read suspense or mystery novels half way through I would jump to the final pages just to see how things turned out. I would always chock it up to wanting to be “prepared.”

In time, I realized that I did this not only with movies and books but also in other aspects of my life. I spent a lot of time wondering about what the future held, not realizing that what I did in the present directly affects the future. The introduction to Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Wherever You Go There You Are (Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life) speaks about the importance of living in the now. He states "If what happens now does influence what happens next, then doesn't it make sense to look around a bit from time to time so that you are more in touch with what is happening now, so that you can take your inner and outer bearings and perceive with clarity the path that you are actually on and the direction in which you are going? If you do so, maybe you will be in a better position to chart a course for yourself that is truer to your inner being--a soul path, a path with heart, your path with a capital P. If not, the sheer momentum of your unconsciousness in this moment just colors the next moment. The days, months and years quickly go by unnoticed, unused and unappreciated."

A wise soul once said "the past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present." Do you have big dreams and/or plans for the future? Are you anxious to see what tomorrow holds? We all have the power and pleasure of scripting our lives.

As sure as there has to be a beginning and an end there needs to be a middle, a right now. Enjoy your "right now" knowing that it will make for one heck of a future.

May your "right now" be filled with love, happiness and endless possibilities.

Greater Expectations

Several months ago one of my students (who is also a dear friend) gave me a book entitled Be Your Own Life Coach written by Fiona Harold, a highly successful British Life Coach. He said he'd had the book for awhile and thought that I may find it useful. Though touched by the gesture I had no real interest in Life Coaching as I was evolving beautifully with yoga and meditation.

Weeks passed and "mysteriously" I began to get emails about life coaching courses. Knowing that I was receiving not so subtle nudges from the Universe I decided to open myself energetically to the possibility. When my friends started to email and call me about looking into life coaching because of something they heard on the radio or television I finally decided to pursue this divinely inspired career path. The process so far has been both refreshing and eye opening. Through self-exploratory exercises I soon realized that I still have some disempowering beliefs that need to be addressed and disarmed.

In the book Fiona states that “our expectations of people shape the way we treat them and the way they respond.” She explains that we all have expectations that we carry around with us all the time. From morning traffic to the demeanor of an overstressed agent at the MVA counter, we expect people to act in a certain manner and situations to end in a particular way. Due to the power of our thoughs we are rarely disappointed. This made me think of a time not too long ago when I was in the 15 items or less express lane at the grocery store. I didn’t pay attention to the sign and got in line because it was short. As I got closer to the checkout I realized that I had grossly exceeded the 15 item maximum and just knew that the cashier would have a problem with me ignoring the rules. I told myself that she has to deal with this everyday and is more than likely tired of people disregarding the posted sign.

Sure enough as I placed my items on the belt she curtly advised me that I should have been in another line and unhappily scanned my items. This caused my energy to shift and I immediately went into defense mode. I had made an honest mistake, why was she judging me? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who made this mistake before, it's not like I did it on purpose! From the beginning I told myself that she would have major attitude, so it was no big surprise.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you played out a scenario in your mind just expecting the worse possible outcome to happen and then it did? We all have positive and not so positive expectations that drive our lives. From knowing that you are going to have a wonderful day to expecting the boss to suggest an unrealistic deadline for a project, we call these things into existence through our expectations and thoughts.

Fiona suggests a five-step fail proof plan to shift your expectancies from negative to positive:

1. Be Vigilant. It will take time to identify which expectancies need to shift. It is very important that we pay close attention to our mental chatter. If a negative belief comes up immediately change it to the positive. So instead of “the checkout person is going to give me major attitude” think “the checkout person is very understanding and enjoys helping out people like me.”

2. Guard Your Conclusions. We form our expectations every day based on what going on in our life and around us. It is very important that as we are taking on new expectations they are positive, and not limiting or negative.

3. Stay Cheerful. When life throws us lemons, let’s make yummy lemonade! It is very hard for negative beliefs to invade our space if we are happy and joyful. Though challenging at times we can all look for the silver lining and at the very least shift our energy with a smile or a laugh (which can be VERY contagious!)

4. Be Grateful. Most of us have heard it time and time again ¬ “stay in an attitude of gratitude”. Instead of focusing on the things that can/should be different or better be happy for the things in your life that are wonderful and blessed.

5. Choose Optimistic Friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friends at one time or another that are a little less than positive. Maintaining a positive attitude is hard enough but can be made more difficult if the people in your inner circle don’t share these beliefs. Think of the old saying “misery loves company.” If that is true then happiness and joy loves company too! So surround yourself with friends who choose positivity over negativity and support one another.

We know that this life is ours for the taking and it is based on what we expect from it. So knowing this why not expect prosperity, unconditional love, joy, happiness and anything else your heart desires?

It is your right and within your reach so grab it and hold on tight!

A Reason, Season or Lifetime

I love technology and the “www” but some days I find myself wanting to take it waaay back to the old school when people wrote letters and sent them via snail mail. The great thing about email is that I am able to stay in touch with my family and friends. BUT on the other hand I find myself spending sometimes hours weeding through the SPAM… I’ve been waiting for my free laptop from Microsoft for about 8 years now and surely if I had a rich uncle in the U.K. who had left a sizable inheritance his name would have come up long before someone felt the need to email me (and if my uncle had my email address he should have my cell phone number too????).

One day while on a mission to clear out my inbox I came across a forward from a friend that I had periodically received for at least 10 years now. It was a poem entitled "A Reason, Season or Lifetime" by an unknown author. Instead of deleting the email I was moved to read the poem as it had been several years since I had last read it.

After reading it I found that it held new meaning for me at this stage in my life. In the poem the author eloquently expresses why certain people come into our lives. People who come into our lives for a reason are there to fulfill an immediate need that we are facing in our lives. We may be going through a tough time or a transition and this person either brings clarity or support to where we are at that moment. People who come into our lives for a reason are only there temporarily. The relationship may come to an end abruptly or will gradually fade away. In the poem the author states that "we must realize that our need has been met......and it is time to move on." In this beautiful, sometimes complicated journey of life we meet people who help us get through certain challenges or over hurdles in our lives. Sometimes without notice this person is abruptly removed from our lives and we may feel a sense of loss, but in the end we realize that the relationship was beneficial to our growth even though it ended.

Then there are people who come into our lives for a season. The author explains that certain people enter our lives to teach us something new, something that we have never explored. What they have to share may bring us a great amount of happiness and joy, and in the end we may learn something new and wonderful about ourselves. Once their job is done this person too may cease to exist in our reality, leaving behind the wonderful experience and sense of renewal or growth.

Finally, people come into our lives for a lifetime. These relationships continue to grow over time. It is enhanced by the prior experiences in relationships with those there for a reason or season. Those beautiful souls in our lives for a lifetime can offer lifelong lessons that will help us to continually grow and blossom. Things may be tough at times but in the end it is more than worthwhile.






In the past I mourned people that left my life for whatever reason. Friends that I thought would be there forever, boyfriends, family members that had transitioned… it was always hard to see someone leave my life. I wanted to hold on to the good times and mourn or obsess over the not so good times. As I grew older (and wiser) I realized that everyone has a purpose in our lives.

Instead of looking back and wishing things could be different/better with a mate, friend, or acquaintance, try to see the beauty in the relationship and be grateful for the exchange. No one comes into our lives by accident and regardless of the situation there is definitely something that we can learn from the experience.

Live life freely, abundantly and blissfully! I am glad that at the moment, I am in your life.

[Check out http://www.steeldog.com/reasonseasonlifetime.htm to see the full poem online.]

Create a Life You Love

A good friend asked me to join her book club and, being an avid reader, I eagerly accepted. We each got a turn picking a book to read and when it was my turn I choose Dr. Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intentions: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way. I read it more than once and each time I get something new from it. A few days before our meeting my friend advised me that she and the other members were having problems with the concepts in the book and she was afraid that we would not be able to have a full discussion about it. The idea of setting intentions was a new concept and a little daunting.

I remembered I had to read and re-read the first few chapters of the book in order to understand what intentions really are. Eventually, setting intentions had become such a routine and valuable part of my life that I couldn't see others not doing or understanding it. I explained to my friend that setting an intention is simply speaking what you desire as if there is no question whether it will happen. Setting intentions is much more than just setting goals. It gives us a level of control over our lives and lays out the groundwork for our day, week, month or longer. Through setting our intentions we can create a life that we love.

Has there ever been a time when your day started late, and you didn't take a moment to pray, meditate or just be thankful for a new day? Did that sense of urgency and things not working out carry throughout the rest of your day? I'm sure this has happened once or twice (or maybe more) to a lot of us. By simply taking a moment and setting an intention you can shift your energy and change the course of your day. Normally I set my intentions before I start my day, but they can be set at any time.

In his book Dr. Dyer outlines four easy steps to set intentions:

Step 1: Discipline. In this step, Dr. Dyer explains that we must retrain our bodies to perform as our thoughts desire. This will most likely take a little time to get used to as it entails us quieting our ego mind and making a daily commitment. Most of us already have busy schedules and the thought of adding anything else may be a little daunting but in the end it is well worth the effort.

Step 2: Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom will help keep us on track. We can stay motivated and inspired by reading, praying, meditating or anything else that keeps us emotionally and spiritually fed. It will give us patience as we connect with our mind/body/spirit.

Step 3: Love. Love for ourselves and what we do is very important. This process of reconnection with self is dependent on love. Everything in our lives should come from love and be done with love. It will make us feel good and keep us motivated.

Step 4: Surrender. Dr. Dyer describes this stage as "the place of intention...where your body and mind aren't running the show." For most of us, surrendering is a very difficult thing to do as it takes a lot of trust and belief in the unseen.


Today, take a moment to reflect on how your day is going so far and how you are feeling right now. If it isn't going the way you would like, set (or reaffirm) your intention for today, and wait for the shift to happen! May your day be filled with joy, happiness and everything your heart desires.

Creating Karma

A few weeks ago I did something that I haven't done in a very long time - I watched the news. I decided a long time ago that I would only watch the news long enough to check on the weather or traffic. If I watched any longer I would often feel drained, angry, paranoid or just plain fed up. A story about a fatal attack on a mother and her teenage daughter in their home caught my attention. They lived very close to me and apparently this was the second case involving a vicious attack on a mother and her daughter in the area. The story left me in tears and angry that someone could so callously take precious lives. Then paranoia crept, I have a daughter and sometimes we are home alone. I ran around the house, checked all the locks, turned the alarm system on and grabbed tightly held my confused daughter.

The story stayed on the news and I made it a point to tune in every day that week. I prayed that those responsible were caught and brought to justice. I watched the news every single day, sometimes twice a day. Each day that I watched I felt a little more saddened and frustrated that justice hadn't been delivered.

At the end of the week I finally turned the television off and emotionally disconnected. This was a horribly tragic event and I was sad that it happened…. but there was nothing I could do about it and seeing justice done would not change the fact that precious lives were lost. It is not my job to be judge and jury. Instead of harping on the sadness I instead sent love and light to the families.

In life, we are constantly creating our own karma. Some of us may feel that karma is about judgment or an eye for an eye, but it isn’t. Karma is simply the universal law of cause and effect. Every action, every word, every thought carries energy out into the universe and shapes our present and future experiences.

Wayne Dyer says “how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” So the next time someone steals your parking space, cuts you in line without permission or makes a rude comment just smile knowing that it’s not about you. Continue to create good karma in your life by detaching from the need to see justice done or to deliver payback.

Today and each and every day: live your life fully, honestly and with respect for yourself, others and nature.

Living on purpose

I woke up early this morning to do some quiet meditation before my family started putting in their requests for the day. Last week was hectic and I needed to clear the mental clutter before beginning another week. After my meditation I looked at my bookshelf and remembered there are a few books on my "to read" list that I haven't gotten to yet. I was instantly drawn to The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Matthew Kelly. A dear friend had given me the book a while ago and I did read it but for some reason couldn't remember the concept, other than what the title suggested.

Always knowing that I am drawn to things for a reason I closed my eyes and opened the book to a "random" page. I landed on page 139 entitled Why are we all so busy? Smiling, I was once again reminded of my resolution to slow down, which I am still working on with an open heart and no self-judgment. The chapter discusses the author's life and what led him to write the book. Like many of us he reflected on the concepts of life and death, God and religion, society and other emotions the average human experiences. He wondered if he was put on earth for any real purpose. I've often reflected on about our ability to make choices and how we have the power to do anything our hearts desire, but what we may forget or not consider is that we are all here for a purpose that was decided a long time ago.

Many of us know and feel what our purpose is but for whatever reason choose to take our lives in a different and sometimes unfulfilling direction. So how do we start (or get back to) living on purpose? Matthew Kelly states that "our lives change when we stop merely replying to questions and begin to ask them." If you need to know your purpose just simply ask and be open to seeing and accepting the answer you receive.

We are in the midst of a Universal shift in consciousness and change. Now is the time for us to truly live our destinies and share our light with the world.

May your existence be filled love, laughter, happiness and purposeful living.

Let yourself be open and free

This has been a wonderfully exciting, emotional and historic week. My daughter turned 7 years old on Tuesday and I was able to witness history (from the comfort of my home of course!). Grateful for the downtime, I decided to treat myself to a massage and acupuncture to relax. At first it was strange being the one on the table, as it is I who normally gives the treatments. It took a while for me to relax as I found myself taking in everything and wondering "what's going to happen next?" I found myself trying to figure out what energy line was being worked on and if there was anything I could incorporate into my practice.

As I stared at the ceiling and took in my peaceful surroundings a conversation with one of my massage clients came to mind. She was an executive at a huge firm and was responsible for making most of the decisions at her company. It was hard for her to relax during traditional massages so she decided to try Thai Massage since there is a lot more movement and she felt she could be more involved. I told her that though the massage is different from traditional Western massage her involvement needed to be very minimal for her to reap the benefits of the session. It took a little while but she finally relaxed and allowed herself to just be in that moment. Afterwards she told me that she just closed her eyes and envisioned she was a bird flying freely and that helped her to relax and let go.

Following my own advice, I closed my eyes and started to truly relax. I quieted my mind and thought of myself as a feather blowing gently in the wind. In that moment I allowed myself to be completely open and free. The rest of the session was a blur but I can tell you that I am still floating in the wind! There are several opportunities for us to be free - worry-free, carefree, stress-free. So I encourage you to take a moment, look out the window or close your eyes and choose to be free.

May this day, and your weekend, find you in a state of peace, happiness and joy.

My resolution

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am anti-resolutions. I took the stand against resolutions many years ago because of the self-induced stress that accomplishing and maintaining them brought. My resolutions always involved being more centered, losing weight and advancing my career all in an unrealistic timeframe. Each February I found myself frustrated with myself and my resolutions. My unhealthy habits resumed and were worse than before I set my goals. So one year I resolved never again to set resolutions.

This year I faced some of my greatest challenges and (thank God) greatest successes. Unfortunately during my expansion hub bub I lost sight of what was really important – my health. As an avid meditator and yoga practitioner I was felt that I was living a perfectly balanced life. I was working more and I was finally getting some attention for the business, plus I still had my sanity, right? My family obligations were never neglected even though I spent long hours at the new studio. There was always time to cook a healthy meal, spend time with my daughter and husband and do whatever housework I had the energy for.

Well, what I forget how important it was for me to REST. The gift and the curse of what I do is that it doesn’t feel like work. I often find myself working an ungodly amount of hours without realizing it. Soon I began to experience some very odd health problems that didn’t necessarily put me down for the count but definitely interfered with my hectic work schedule. So I bit the bullet and went to see a Naturopathic Doctor. We spent two hours discussing my work schedule, my tendencies, my fear of failure and other things that were (seemingly) unrelated to my health issues. At the close of my session he explained what was going on and that the root cause of ALL of my current issues was burnout. At first I tried to deny it, I was doing yoga, I was meditating and I am always in a (semi) constant state of Samadhi (bliss), right?

So often we overwork ourselves because we think we can handle it. We are bound by obligations and wouldn’t even think of lessening the load because there are people who depend on us. Well guess what? You need you too! If we don’t take care of ourselves we aren’t any good to anyone.

This year I am breaking my anti-resolutions rule. I NOW resolve to take it easy, work smarter, relax more often, say “no” more often and honor myself in each and every decision that is made.

So what do you resolve?

Live, breath and accept abundance

I know a lot of us have been glued to the television set watching the crash of the stock market along with everything else we have invested our hard earned money into. Due to all the gloom and doom I decided to spend less time watching television and more time reading books. With my newfound downtime I re-discovered Napoleon Hill and Dr. Dennis Kimbro’s Think and Grow Rich, A Black Choice. I already listened to Napoleon Hill’s first book Think and Grow Rich on audiocassette and had NO idea that the “black” version would offer any greater insight… boy was I wrong. Black, white, yellow or purple, we need to read these books! It reminded me that we create our own reality, regardless of what is going on in the world around us. Yes, we are being told that stocks are crashing and the market is “down”, but lest we forget that we do have the power to control our destiny through faith and manifestation.

So I have resolved to turn off the television, ignore the papers and claim and manifest all the desires of my heart. Your life is what YOU make it… not what you are told. If you want to be wealthy in this time of need, claim it and believe it is coming sooner than later. I live by the rule ask, believe and receive. We can all live the life we dream of. We have to just believe that it is here and we are worthy.

This day I encourage you to live happily, abundantly and blissfully!

Today, I decided....

For the past several days I've been waking up at exactly 4:15 am. After the 3rd day of waking up at the exact same time I finally "got it." There was something that I was supposed to do or realize. God was giving me the subtle hint and luckily it didn’t take me very long to catch on!

On that 3rd day I made my way (sleepy eyes and bumping into things) to my sacred meditation room. I sat in silence and listened for my message. After a few still moments I realized that I am doing something so huge that I let the excitement almost pass me by. Now don’t get me wrong, when I finally closed on my new studio space I had several sporadic yelling and jumping fits, but I didn’t truly let myself rejoice.

The journey was an emotionally draining one, but with faith and God’s will I am here. My work and persistence wasn’t the most draining thing, it was also due in part to the worrying and judgments of others. I had reached out with an SOS requesting help to fund this dream. I got a LOT of support from my loved ones. But in addition to the support I got a lot of negativity and doubt thrown my way.

One gentleman accused me of doing something illegal by asking for donations! Well of course that’s silly and untrue but his comment did hit me for a moment. Was I getting in over my head? Should I have waited? I now have 2 mortgages to worry about, a slightly less stellar credit rating due to countless inquiries and renovation money that I am manifesting (with glee) so that I can officially open up shop.

I got up once again this morning, this time I made my way to my meditation room with a light heart and determination. In my journal I wrote “I refuse to succumb to the drama around me… to others saying they know what’s best for me… to words of doubt about my dreams… to negative things said about me that have more to do with the speaker… today, I claim my blessings as I am LOVED, I am WHOLE, I am ABUNDANT and I am RECEIVING all the gifts that the Universe bestows upon me.”

Today, what have YOU decided?

Ask, believe and receive

This morning I woke up a little before 5 am. My eyes just popped open and I began to smile. For four months I have been working on buying a new location for my yoga and wellness studio. The process started in April when I saw a quaint house right around the corner from where I lived with a for sale sign in the yard. It was definitely a fixer-upper but I saw the potential. While driving by with a friend she commented that I better buy that house to use as a studio.

I was amazed because I had looked longingly at the house several times in passing and thought the same thing but never told anyone. My friend voiced what I was feeling and I took this as validation. On a beautiful April afternoon my friend and I (who happens to share my first and maiden name and lives on the SAME street!) went by to see the owner. I fell in love with the land and the potential to do great things with the property. I told him that I was very interested and I would be back.... and I did come back with intention in hand. I wrote on a small piece of paper that the property is sold to me and I also wrote the amount I wanted to pay for it.

Time passed, the market changed and my first loan fell through. As I hurried to secure financing I refused to give up hope. I was turned down by 7 banks that could not see my vision. Determined to make my dream a reality I took a picture of the house and put it in my journal. Each day I would look at the picture and thought about all the wonderful things I was going to do with the property. Then as the Universe would have it I found someone who was willing to work with me - but I had to come up with 20% down! Not having the funds at the time to put down I went to work on manifesting the money and thought about my new space. The first closing date passed and a second was secured with a promise to put more down on good faith for the owner's assurance. Donations and support started pouring in from friends, family, clients and their associates. In the nick of time I had all that I needed!

Through asking, believing and receiving my blessing I have manifested the largest thing (so far) in my life. Anyone can do this! Just know and believe you are worthy and open yourself to love and abundance. It is important to stay in a state of excitement for whatever you want to manifest and don't let doubt creep in. You can manifest as quickly as you like, you just have to have blind faith - BELIEVE!

Just breathe...

Breathing is something that is vital to life, yet not given much thought on a day-to-day basis. I realized awhile ago that I hold my breath when I am anxious, upset or when I didn't want to deal with certain emotions.

As I began my journey into yoga and holistic healing I learned that by holding my breath so much I was actually storing the pain in my DNA. Instead of checking out of difficult situations by holding my breath I was storing the pain for future use.

How many times has someone said something seemingly innocent and you found yourself overreacting or with hurt feelings? It could possibly be due to something that triggered an emotion that you suppressed.

Now when I know that I am facing difficult situations or people I make it a point to JUST BREATHE. So the next time someone gets on your nerves, smile and take a deep breath in and an equally deep breath out!

Blog therapy

I've been thinking of becoming a blogger for a very long time. I struggled between thoughts of “you should keep your random thoughts to yourself" and "no one cares what you have to say".

Then it hit me, the best way for me to manifest and to live fully is to share the happiness, sadness and whatever is going on because there may be someone out there that "feels me"... and for those that aren't interested in my random musings they don't have to read, it's as easy as that :-)

So here begins my life of online blog therapy. My main purpose in life is the pursuit of total bliss, happiness and unconditional love.