Greater Expectations

Several months ago one of my students (who is also a dear friend) gave me a book entitled Be Your Own Life Coach written by Fiona Harold, a highly successful British Life Coach. He said he'd had the book for awhile and thought that I may find it useful. Though touched by the gesture I had no real interest in Life Coaching as I was evolving beautifully with yoga and meditation.

Weeks passed and "mysteriously" I began to get emails about life coaching courses. Knowing that I was receiving not so subtle nudges from the Universe I decided to open myself energetically to the possibility. When my friends started to email and call me about looking into life coaching because of something they heard on the radio or television I finally decided to pursue this divinely inspired career path. The process so far has been both refreshing and eye opening. Through self-exploratory exercises I soon realized that I still have some disempowering beliefs that need to be addressed and disarmed.

In the book Fiona states that “our expectations of people shape the way we treat them and the way they respond.” She explains that we all have expectations that we carry around with us all the time. From morning traffic to the demeanor of an overstressed agent at the MVA counter, we expect people to act in a certain manner and situations to end in a particular way. Due to the power of our thoughs we are rarely disappointed. This made me think of a time not too long ago when I was in the 15 items or less express lane at the grocery store. I didn’t pay attention to the sign and got in line because it was short. As I got closer to the checkout I realized that I had grossly exceeded the 15 item maximum and just knew that the cashier would have a problem with me ignoring the rules. I told myself that she has to deal with this everyday and is more than likely tired of people disregarding the posted sign.

Sure enough as I placed my items on the belt she curtly advised me that I should have been in another line and unhappily scanned my items. This caused my energy to shift and I immediately went into defense mode. I had made an honest mistake, why was she judging me? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who made this mistake before, it's not like I did it on purpose! From the beginning I told myself that she would have major attitude, so it was no big surprise.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you played out a scenario in your mind just expecting the worse possible outcome to happen and then it did? We all have positive and not so positive expectations that drive our lives. From knowing that you are going to have a wonderful day to expecting the boss to suggest an unrealistic deadline for a project, we call these things into existence through our expectations and thoughts.

Fiona suggests a five-step fail proof plan to shift your expectancies from negative to positive:

1. Be Vigilant. It will take time to identify which expectancies need to shift. It is very important that we pay close attention to our mental chatter. If a negative belief comes up immediately change it to the positive. So instead of “the checkout person is going to give me major attitude” think “the checkout person is very understanding and enjoys helping out people like me.”

2. Guard Your Conclusions. We form our expectations every day based on what going on in our life and around us. It is very important that as we are taking on new expectations they are positive, and not limiting or negative.

3. Stay Cheerful. When life throws us lemons, let’s make yummy lemonade! It is very hard for negative beliefs to invade our space if we are happy and joyful. Though challenging at times we can all look for the silver lining and at the very least shift our energy with a smile or a laugh (which can be VERY contagious!)

4. Be Grateful. Most of us have heard it time and time again ¬ “stay in an attitude of gratitude”. Instead of focusing on the things that can/should be different or better be happy for the things in your life that are wonderful and blessed.

5. Choose Optimistic Friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friends at one time or another that are a little less than positive. Maintaining a positive attitude is hard enough but can be made more difficult if the people in your inner circle don’t share these beliefs. Think of the old saying “misery loves company.” If that is true then happiness and joy loves company too! So surround yourself with friends who choose positivity over negativity and support one another.

We know that this life is ours for the taking and it is based on what we expect from it. So knowing this why not expect prosperity, unconditional love, joy, happiness and anything else your heart desires?

It is your right and within your reach so grab it and hold on tight!