The Opinion Trap

Recently I was watching a show about a cooking competition on TV and one of the contestants was hugely criticized by one of the judges on the dish he prepared. Unfazed by the harsh words he shrugged it off and said that it was all a matter of opinion and he felt he did a good job and that's all that mattered. The other contestants looked at him in disbelief and voiced that he should accept the constructive criticism and make the appropriate changes. He reaffirmed his belief in what he presented and advised that if given another opportunity he wouldn’t change a thing.

His statement reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by an unknown author that states "your opinion of me is none of my business." When I first heard the quote I thought, “now what the heck does that mean????.” How could we discount opinions? They are important for our growth, right? As a child I was taught to uphold certain standards and keep in mind how others will react or what they would say. Growing up I had a very "interesting" sense of style and my mother would lovingly tell me that everyone may not get it. Not wanting people to judge me or tell me that I looked silly I would change. As I grew older I found myself trying to stay with whatever was in Vogue¬ despite my secret desire to mix polka dots and plaid!

When I began my healing journey years ago I realized that I was living my life based on what others would think of me or say about me. Instead of bracing myself for constructive criticism I would try to avoid it altogether and be what I thought others expected me to be. I found that this caused me a great deal of mental stress. I vowed to let go and live my life as I wanted to, regardless of what someone may think or say.

Are you stuck in a hold pattern or afraid to express who you really are because others may not understand or get it? Does the thought of constructive criticism make you cringe and unwilling to do the things you want to do? Sometimes we look for validation outside of ourselves when actually the only opinion that counts is our own. This life is yours to live, however you want. There will always be opinions; YOU decide which ones count and which ones don't.

So put on our polka dots and plaid and live life freely!

The Perfection Myth

I’ve always been told I have the “gift of gab” and for the past few years I’ve been putting pen to paper with my random thoughts aka musings. The inspiration for my musings sometimes comes from things that I'm experiencing in my life but most often from the wonderful feedback from those that take the time to read my babblings. One day a dear friend and I were talking about finding the strength to face challenges. He too had been through a lot in his life and in the past his method for dealing with painful challenges was to avoid them.

I told him that avoidance was a tune I used to sing quite well. In my mind it was easier to distract myself instead of facing the problem at hand. In the past I struggled constantly with my weight. Up until college I was a “perfect” size 3 and could eat whatever I wanted. I weighed myself often and took pride in the fact that my metabolism was so great. When I went to college the freshman 15 (more like 25) hit hard. My perfect size 3 quickly graduated to a size 6. Instead of addressing the problem I threw away my scale and bought a whole new set of clothes. This sustained me for awhile, but not too long.

The problem with avoidance is that in the end whatever we are trying to get away from resurfaces and sometimes causes severe emotional ups and downs. Eventually I decided to address my unhealthy eating habits and make a change for the better. Even though I never saw a size 3 again I am much healthier and happier.


As we live there will be parts of ourselves that we will need to work on and it is important that we honor and work on our challenges as they come. It can be a slow process but it is a very necessary one.

In life we are always encouraged to strive for perfection, but what does that truly mean? Does it mean that we are finally free of all of our bad habits, negative thoughts and moments of "insanity?" Are we all going to miraculously "get it" and live out the rest of our lives in a state of bliss and happiness all the time?

Instead of thinking that your life would be perfect if only _________(fill in the blank), know that true perfection is acknowledging that we all "need work" and taking those baby steps to better our lives. So today, honor your unique perfection and embrace that we are all a masterpiece in progress.

Strength and Faith

On one of my beautiful moments of downtime I was channel surfing and came across a program where a man was sharing the challenges he had faced in his life two years ago. The life that he cherished took a downturn in a matter of months. He was laid off from his job, his spouse left him and he wound up losing his home with no place to stay. This left him feeling alone and at rock bottom. After months of feeling helpless and sorry for himself he mustered up the strength to move past this trying time and was able to create a life that was more blessed and beautiful than before. He learned not to take things for granted and that he was much stronger than he could have ever imagined.

His story brought to mind some of the challenges I, and some of my loved ones, have faced in the past. There were a few times where I almost threw in the towel and gave up. I told myself that I wasn’t strong enough to make it through and it would be easier to just give up rather than try and fail. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness tested my faith. I would go through periods of feeling sorry for myself and then frustrated. During some serious soul searching I realized that I was stronger than I gave myself credit for and there is a reason for every situation.


At some point or another we may be faced with challenges that are seemingly impossible to overcome. The limits of our faith may be tested and at that moment our fight or flight response will kick in. We may give away or discredit the power that we have to get through the most serious challenges.

If life throws you a curveball know that no matter what happens you CAN get through it. Have faith that each and every challenging situation can be overcome and in the end you will be stronger and wiser.

Today I pray that you are focused, centered and on task.