Greater Expectations

Several months ago one of my students (who is also a dear friend) gave me a book entitled Be Your Own Life Coach written by Fiona Harold, a highly successful British Life Coach. He said he'd had the book for awhile and thought that I may find it useful. Though touched by the gesture I had no real interest in Life Coaching as I was evolving beautifully with yoga and meditation.

Weeks passed and "mysteriously" I began to get emails about life coaching courses. Knowing that I was receiving not so subtle nudges from the Universe I decided to open myself energetically to the possibility. When my friends started to email and call me about looking into life coaching because of something they heard on the radio or television I finally decided to pursue this divinely inspired career path. The process so far has been both refreshing and eye opening. Through self-exploratory exercises I soon realized that I still have some disempowering beliefs that need to be addressed and disarmed.

In the book Fiona states that “our expectations of people shape the way we treat them and the way they respond.” She explains that we all have expectations that we carry around with us all the time. From morning traffic to the demeanor of an overstressed agent at the MVA counter, we expect people to act in a certain manner and situations to end in a particular way. Due to the power of our thoughs we are rarely disappointed. This made me think of a time not too long ago when I was in the 15 items or less express lane at the grocery store. I didn’t pay attention to the sign and got in line because it was short. As I got closer to the checkout I realized that I had grossly exceeded the 15 item maximum and just knew that the cashier would have a problem with me ignoring the rules. I told myself that she has to deal with this everyday and is more than likely tired of people disregarding the posted sign.

Sure enough as I placed my items on the belt she curtly advised me that I should have been in another line and unhappily scanned my items. This caused my energy to shift and I immediately went into defense mode. I had made an honest mistake, why was she judging me? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who made this mistake before, it's not like I did it on purpose! From the beginning I told myself that she would have major attitude, so it was no big surprise.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you played out a scenario in your mind just expecting the worse possible outcome to happen and then it did? We all have positive and not so positive expectations that drive our lives. From knowing that you are going to have a wonderful day to expecting the boss to suggest an unrealistic deadline for a project, we call these things into existence through our expectations and thoughts.

Fiona suggests a five-step fail proof plan to shift your expectancies from negative to positive:

1. Be Vigilant. It will take time to identify which expectancies need to shift. It is very important that we pay close attention to our mental chatter. If a negative belief comes up immediately change it to the positive. So instead of “the checkout person is going to give me major attitude” think “the checkout person is very understanding and enjoys helping out people like me.”

2. Guard Your Conclusions. We form our expectations every day based on what going on in our life and around us. It is very important that as we are taking on new expectations they are positive, and not limiting or negative.

3. Stay Cheerful. When life throws us lemons, let’s make yummy lemonade! It is very hard for negative beliefs to invade our space if we are happy and joyful. Though challenging at times we can all look for the silver lining and at the very least shift our energy with a smile or a laugh (which can be VERY contagious!)

4. Be Grateful. Most of us have heard it time and time again ¬ “stay in an attitude of gratitude”. Instead of focusing on the things that can/should be different or better be happy for the things in your life that are wonderful and blessed.

5. Choose Optimistic Friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friends at one time or another that are a little less than positive. Maintaining a positive attitude is hard enough but can be made more difficult if the people in your inner circle don’t share these beliefs. Think of the old saying “misery loves company.” If that is true then happiness and joy loves company too! So surround yourself with friends who choose positivity over negativity and support one another.

We know that this life is ours for the taking and it is based on what we expect from it. So knowing this why not expect prosperity, unconditional love, joy, happiness and anything else your heart desires?

It is your right and within your reach so grab it and hold on tight!

Remembering resolutions

Oh my how time does fly, taxes are due, April showers are making way for May flowers and New Year's resolutions are probably quickly becoming a fleeting thought :-) My resolution of letting go of my superwoman complex and having more downtime has been a tough one to stick to. The state of the economy and other world events have more and more people seeking ways to reduce stress and live a more balanced life. Organizations have started hosting more health fairs and stress management workshops to help employees cope with the economy woes. As a native New Yorker and a recovering “A” type personality I lived through years of self-induced stress and was very sensitive to what was going on in the world. Through yoga and meditation I was able to relax, reconnect to joy and look at life from a more positive perspective. Because of this I welcome each and every opportunity to share the wonderful benefits to all that will listen.

After one particularly hectic weekend I almost gave up on my sole resolution. My calendar was jammed packed with activities for the next several days and no break was in sight. Even in the midst of the recession I am blessed to have a steady flow of work. It would be crazy for me to turn down an appointment or class opportunity, right? Old anxieties snuck up on me so I took some time to meditate to gain clarity.

After several minutes I decided to stay on task and created a rule of three "R's" for when I needed guidance and/or motivation. If you are at an impasse with your resolution(s) try my three “R’s” rule:

1. Revisit. Ask yourself, "is this resolution still relevant to where I want/need to be in my life at this time?" If the answer is no let go and find peace with your decision.
   


2. Revamp. If this resolution is necessary for you to live a happy and balanced life and old methods aren't working, revamp your plan of action. Explore ways to achieve your goal(s) by utilizing different methods.
   


3. Reconnect. We are capable creating the life that we desire. In order to do this we must reconnect with our source energy - happiness. Find joy and happiness is all that you do ¬this will keep us all motivated and energized.
   
   May you continue to be surrounded by love, joy and happiness.
   

Creating Karma

A few weeks ago I did something that I haven't done in a very long time - I watched the news. I decided a long time ago that I would only watch the news long enough to check on the weather or traffic. If I watched any longer I would often feel drained, angry, paranoid or just plain fed up. A story about a fatal attack on a mother and her teenage daughter in their home caught my attention. They lived very close to me and apparently this was the second case involving a vicious attack on a mother and her daughter in the area. The story left me in tears and angry that someone could so callously take precious lives. Then paranoia crept, I have a daughter and sometimes we are home alone. I ran around the house, checked all the locks, turned the alarm system on and grabbed tightly held my confused daughter.

The story stayed on the news and I made it a point to tune in every day that week. I prayed that those responsible were caught and brought to justice. I watched the news every single day, sometimes twice a day. Each day that I watched I felt a little more saddened and frustrated that justice hadn't been delivered.

At the end of the week I finally turned the television off and emotionally disconnected. This was a horribly tragic event and I was sad that it happened…. but there was nothing I could do about it and seeing justice done would not change the fact that precious lives were lost. It is not my job to be judge and jury. Instead of harping on the sadness I instead sent love and light to the families.

In life, we are constantly creating our own karma. Some of us may feel that karma is about judgment or an eye for an eye, but it isn’t. Karma is simply the universal law of cause and effect. Every action, every word, every thought carries energy out into the universe and shapes our present and future experiences.

Wayne Dyer says “how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” So the next time someone steals your parking space, cuts you in line without permission or makes a rude comment just smile knowing that it’s not about you. Continue to create good karma in your life by detaching from the need to see justice done or to deliver payback.

Today and each and every day: live your life fully, honestly and with respect for yourself, others and nature.

Let yourself be open and free

This has been a wonderfully exciting, emotional and historic week. My daughter turned 7 years old on Tuesday and I was able to witness history (from the comfort of my home of course!). Grateful for the downtime, I decided to treat myself to a massage and acupuncture to relax. At first it was strange being the one on the table, as it is I who normally gives the treatments. It took a while for me to relax as I found myself taking in everything and wondering "what's going to happen next?" I found myself trying to figure out what energy line was being worked on and if there was anything I could incorporate into my practice.

As I stared at the ceiling and took in my peaceful surroundings a conversation with one of my massage clients came to mind. She was an executive at a huge firm and was responsible for making most of the decisions at her company. It was hard for her to relax during traditional massages so she decided to try Thai Massage since there is a lot more movement and she felt she could be more involved. I told her that though the massage is different from traditional Western massage her involvement needed to be very minimal for her to reap the benefits of the session. It took a little while but she finally relaxed and allowed herself to just be in that moment. Afterwards she told me that she just closed her eyes and envisioned she was a bird flying freely and that helped her to relax and let go.

Following my own advice, I closed my eyes and started to truly relax. I quieted my mind and thought of myself as a feather blowing gently in the wind. In that moment I allowed myself to be completely open and free. The rest of the session was a blur but I can tell you that I am still floating in the wind! There are several opportunities for us to be free - worry-free, carefree, stress-free. So I encourage you to take a moment, look out the window or close your eyes and choose to be free.

May this day, and your weekend, find you in a state of peace, happiness and joy.

My resolution

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am anti-resolutions. I took the stand against resolutions many years ago because of the self-induced stress that accomplishing and maintaining them brought. My resolutions always involved being more centered, losing weight and advancing my career all in an unrealistic timeframe. Each February I found myself frustrated with myself and my resolutions. My unhealthy habits resumed and were worse than before I set my goals. So one year I resolved never again to set resolutions.

This year I faced some of my greatest challenges and (thank God) greatest successes. Unfortunately during my expansion hub bub I lost sight of what was really important – my health. As an avid meditator and yoga practitioner I was felt that I was living a perfectly balanced life. I was working more and I was finally getting some attention for the business, plus I still had my sanity, right? My family obligations were never neglected even though I spent long hours at the new studio. There was always time to cook a healthy meal, spend time with my daughter and husband and do whatever housework I had the energy for.

Well, what I forget how important it was for me to REST. The gift and the curse of what I do is that it doesn’t feel like work. I often find myself working an ungodly amount of hours without realizing it. Soon I began to experience some very odd health problems that didn’t necessarily put me down for the count but definitely interfered with my hectic work schedule. So I bit the bullet and went to see a Naturopathic Doctor. We spent two hours discussing my work schedule, my tendencies, my fear of failure and other things that were (seemingly) unrelated to my health issues. At the close of my session he explained what was going on and that the root cause of ALL of my current issues was burnout. At first I tried to deny it, I was doing yoga, I was meditating and I am always in a (semi) constant state of Samadhi (bliss), right?

So often we overwork ourselves because we think we can handle it. We are bound by obligations and wouldn’t even think of lessening the load because there are people who depend on us. Well guess what? You need you too! If we don’t take care of ourselves we aren’t any good to anyone.

This year I am breaking my anti-resolutions rule. I NOW resolve to take it easy, work smarter, relax more often, say “no” more often and honor myself in each and every decision that is made.

So what do you resolve?

Ask, believe and receive

This morning I woke up a little before 5 am. My eyes just popped open and I began to smile. For four months I have been working on buying a new location for my yoga and wellness studio. The process started in April when I saw a quaint house right around the corner from where I lived with a for sale sign in the yard. It was definitely a fixer-upper but I saw the potential. While driving by with a friend she commented that I better buy that house to use as a studio.

I was amazed because I had looked longingly at the house several times in passing and thought the same thing but never told anyone. My friend voiced what I was feeling and I took this as validation. On a beautiful April afternoon my friend and I (who happens to share my first and maiden name and lives on the SAME street!) went by to see the owner. I fell in love with the land and the potential to do great things with the property. I told him that I was very interested and I would be back.... and I did come back with intention in hand. I wrote on a small piece of paper that the property is sold to me and I also wrote the amount I wanted to pay for it.

Time passed, the market changed and my first loan fell through. As I hurried to secure financing I refused to give up hope. I was turned down by 7 banks that could not see my vision. Determined to make my dream a reality I took a picture of the house and put it in my journal. Each day I would look at the picture and thought about all the wonderful things I was going to do with the property. Then as the Universe would have it I found someone who was willing to work with me - but I had to come up with 20% down! Not having the funds at the time to put down I went to work on manifesting the money and thought about my new space. The first closing date passed and a second was secured with a promise to put more down on good faith for the owner's assurance. Donations and support started pouring in from friends, family, clients and their associates. In the nick of time I had all that I needed!

Through asking, believing and receiving my blessing I have manifested the largest thing (so far) in my life. Anyone can do this! Just know and believe you are worthy and open yourself to love and abundance. It is important to stay in a state of excitement for whatever you want to manifest and don't let doubt creep in. You can manifest as quickly as you like, you just have to have blind faith - BELIEVE!