Teaching Wisdom and Respect

Recently I completed a Life Coach training course and was excited about the start of something new and wonderful. The process was eye-opening and emotionally upheaving. We were encouraged to share some of our personal experiences with classmates so that we would be prepared to handle real life issues. During one of our sessions a classmate expressed how she was tired of being taken advantage of by her family, friends and co-workers. She was given the title of the "go to" person at an early age and in time it became a very draining duty. If someone was sick, needed a hand organizing an event or wanted a shoulder to cry on she was there, regardless of what was going on in her life. She admitted that there never seemed to be anyone there for her to confide in or lean on. There was so much time focused on others that she put all of her personal worries and concerns on the back burner.

Eventually she found herself in a state of exhaustion and resentment due to the demands on her time. She felt that in some instances she was truly needed and felt obligated to help. But in others she realized she was being taken advantage of. She didn’t know how to break the cycle without disappointing loved ones. As we gave loving feedback on her situation I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Phil that states "we teach people how to treat us." By allowing her family and friends to violate her boundaries she was giving them the OK to do so.

Do you find yourself attracting the same type of relationship (romantic and non-romantic) over and over again and wonder why? Or are there certain relationships in your life that need to be revamped? Know that we set the tone for how others treat us by allowing and accepting things that don't leave us feeling uplifted and appreciated.

People will do only what we allow them to do. So if it's respect that you want, insist upon it. If unconditional love is what you desire, accept nothing less.

A Reason, Season or Lifetime

I love technology and the “www” but some days I find myself wanting to take it waaay back to the old school when people wrote letters and sent them via snail mail. The great thing about email is that I am able to stay in touch with my family and friends. BUT on the other hand I find myself spending sometimes hours weeding through the SPAM… I’ve been waiting for my free laptop from Microsoft for about 8 years now and surely if I had a rich uncle in the U.K. who had left a sizable inheritance his name would have come up long before someone felt the need to email me (and if my uncle had my email address he should have my cell phone number too????).

One day while on a mission to clear out my inbox I came across a forward from a friend that I had periodically received for at least 10 years now. It was a poem entitled "A Reason, Season or Lifetime" by an unknown author. Instead of deleting the email I was moved to read the poem as it had been several years since I had last read it.

After reading it I found that it held new meaning for me at this stage in my life. In the poem the author eloquently expresses why certain people come into our lives. People who come into our lives for a reason are there to fulfill an immediate need that we are facing in our lives. We may be going through a tough time or a transition and this person either brings clarity or support to where we are at that moment. People who come into our lives for a reason are only there temporarily. The relationship may come to an end abruptly or will gradually fade away. In the poem the author states that "we must realize that our need has been met......and it is time to move on." In this beautiful, sometimes complicated journey of life we meet people who help us get through certain challenges or over hurdles in our lives. Sometimes without notice this person is abruptly removed from our lives and we may feel a sense of loss, but in the end we realize that the relationship was beneficial to our growth even though it ended.

Then there are people who come into our lives for a season. The author explains that certain people enter our lives to teach us something new, something that we have never explored. What they have to share may bring us a great amount of happiness and joy, and in the end we may learn something new and wonderful about ourselves. Once their job is done this person too may cease to exist in our reality, leaving behind the wonderful experience and sense of renewal or growth.

Finally, people come into our lives for a lifetime. These relationships continue to grow over time. It is enhanced by the prior experiences in relationships with those there for a reason or season. Those beautiful souls in our lives for a lifetime can offer lifelong lessons that will help us to continually grow and blossom. Things may be tough at times but in the end it is more than worthwhile.






In the past I mourned people that left my life for whatever reason. Friends that I thought would be there forever, boyfriends, family members that had transitioned… it was always hard to see someone leave my life. I wanted to hold on to the good times and mourn or obsess over the not so good times. As I grew older (and wiser) I realized that everyone has a purpose in our lives.

Instead of looking back and wishing things could be different/better with a mate, friend, or acquaintance, try to see the beauty in the relationship and be grateful for the exchange. No one comes into our lives by accident and regardless of the situation there is definitely something that we can learn from the experience.

Live life freely, abundantly and blissfully! I am glad that at the moment, I am in your life.

[Check out http://www.steeldog.com/reasonseasonlifetime.htm to see the full poem online.]