Teaching Wisdom and Respect

Recently I completed a Life Coach training course and was excited about the start of something new and wonderful. The process was eye-opening and emotionally upheaving. We were encouraged to share some of our personal experiences with classmates so that we would be prepared to handle real life issues. During one of our sessions a classmate expressed how she was tired of being taken advantage of by her family, friends and co-workers. She was given the title of the "go to" person at an early age and in time it became a very draining duty. If someone was sick, needed a hand organizing an event or wanted a shoulder to cry on she was there, regardless of what was going on in her life. She admitted that there never seemed to be anyone there for her to confide in or lean on. There was so much time focused on others that she put all of her personal worries and concerns on the back burner.

Eventually she found herself in a state of exhaustion and resentment due to the demands on her time. She felt that in some instances she was truly needed and felt obligated to help. But in others she realized she was being taken advantage of. She didn’t know how to break the cycle without disappointing loved ones. As we gave loving feedback on her situation I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Phil that states "we teach people how to treat us." By allowing her family and friends to violate her boundaries she was giving them the OK to do so.

Do you find yourself attracting the same type of relationship (romantic and non-romantic) over and over again and wonder why? Or are there certain relationships in your life that need to be revamped? Know that we set the tone for how others treat us by allowing and accepting things that don't leave us feeling uplifted and appreciated.

People will do only what we allow them to do. So if it's respect that you want, insist upon it. If unconditional love is what you desire, accept nothing less.

Living for Today

Lately, my family and I have been spending fun time together catching up on movies before they go out of the theaters. In the past I would often ask friends that have seen a movie of interest what happened at the end. Many were reluctant to spoil the ending by telling me, but I always managed to get them to disclose the big "ta-da". In my mind I needed to know what to expect so I would be emotionally prepared. I was never one for surprises (I didn’t want to be faced with sad ending, which almost always led to a runny nose and puffy eyes).

Once a dear friend poked fun at me gently when I grilled her for the latest storyline and pointed out that I always seemed to be very concerned with what was going to happen next. She was very correct in her observation. When I would read suspense or mystery novels half way through I would jump to the final pages just to see how things turned out. I would always chock it up to wanting to be “prepared.”

In time, I realized that I did this not only with movies and books but also in other aspects of my life. I spent a lot of time wondering about what the future held, not realizing that what I did in the present directly affects the future. The introduction to Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Wherever You Go There You Are (Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life) speaks about the importance of living in the now. He states "If what happens now does influence what happens next, then doesn't it make sense to look around a bit from time to time so that you are more in touch with what is happening now, so that you can take your inner and outer bearings and perceive with clarity the path that you are actually on and the direction in which you are going? If you do so, maybe you will be in a better position to chart a course for yourself that is truer to your inner being--a soul path, a path with heart, your path with a capital P. If not, the sheer momentum of your unconsciousness in this moment just colors the next moment. The days, months and years quickly go by unnoticed, unused and unappreciated."

A wise soul once said "the past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present." Do you have big dreams and/or plans for the future? Are you anxious to see what tomorrow holds? We all have the power and pleasure of scripting our lives.

As sure as there has to be a beginning and an end there needs to be a middle, a right now. Enjoy your "right now" knowing that it will make for one heck of a future.

May your "right now" be filled with love, happiness and endless possibilities.

Conscious Creating

I pray that this very moment finds you with a wide smile on your face and a light heart. So, I’m half way through my Life Coach training course and can I say that I am NOT used to doing homework! My daughter and I spend hours a week together trying to figure it out :-)

Reading and self-exploration is a huge part of my training and I've experienced brief moments of anxiety due to discovering personal roadblocks that I didn’t know I had and delving deeper into the ones that I’ve been diligently working on for some time now. Luckily I've been able to stay on track by surrounding myself with positive affirmations and by changing my environment (a brisk walk outside does wonders for the soul!). As a part of the training there are a few books on the required reading list. All of the books share a common theme - the power of the subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is considered our rational or logical mind. It plants the seeds of intention within our subconscious mind, which in turn manifests our thoughts into our reality. Our subconscious mind controls our emotions, houses our belief systems and memories. In order for us to overcome negative patterns in our lives and to consciously create a glorious life beyond our wildest dreams we have to be aware of the role and power of our subconscious mind.

From the readings I realized that my past issues were definitely linked to my subconscious mind. In the the past I believed that I would always struggle in some way financially. My parents were comfortable but there was always something that kept them in a state of "just getting by." If I did manage to get ahead financially something would always come up and I would be back to square one. From unexpected bills to forgotten debts I always found myself operating in the red. Years agao I was introduced to the Law of Attraction and at the time I thought it was the answer to my prayers.

I went to work on shifting my paradigm and seeing myself as living financially free. In the beginning things were wonderful and I was growing financially by leaps and bounds. But in time I found that things went back to the way they were, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and vice versa. Confused and a little disillusioned, I spoke with a mentor about what was happening. She advised that I had never truly addressed my belief system when it came to money. Despite my affirmations and new attitude the more I focused on manifesting money the more I became crippled with old fears of not having enough.

Have you ever accomplished something in your life that you thought impossible or too challenging? And then shortly after crossing a major hurdle or achieving success things started to regress? Or have you started seeing the success from your efforts and something came along to pause or completely stop your progress? Memories and beliefs stored in our subconscious mind has the ability to delay or even undo wonderful things that we are manifesting.

So do we spend a lifetime dismantling all of the negative belief systems that we have built up? The answer is no! My mentor taught me that instead of focusing on dis-creating old belief systems we can all consciously create new belief systems that will negate the old ones. So instead of focusing on manifesting just financial wealth (in my case I focused on specific dollar amounts) we can instead set the intention to live life happy and carefree, which encompasses everything from financial freedom to perfect health.

Are you consciously creating the life you desire? If not, take a few moments and write down the life that you want to create as if you are living it right now. Be very broad and open, as this will allow room for things you never imagined. If it’s a relationship that you desire be thankful for all the love in your life. Are you in need of a career overhaul? Be thankful for your success and watch as opportunities for success arrive.

Be sure to have FUN as you create the life you've always imagined! And may your days be filled with love, light and miracles.

Greater Expectations

Several months ago one of my students (who is also a dear friend) gave me a book entitled Be Your Own Life Coach written by Fiona Harold, a highly successful British Life Coach. He said he'd had the book for awhile and thought that I may find it useful. Though touched by the gesture I had no real interest in Life Coaching as I was evolving beautifully with yoga and meditation.

Weeks passed and "mysteriously" I began to get emails about life coaching courses. Knowing that I was receiving not so subtle nudges from the Universe I decided to open myself energetically to the possibility. When my friends started to email and call me about looking into life coaching because of something they heard on the radio or television I finally decided to pursue this divinely inspired career path. The process so far has been both refreshing and eye opening. Through self-exploratory exercises I soon realized that I still have some disempowering beliefs that need to be addressed and disarmed.

In the book Fiona states that “our expectations of people shape the way we treat them and the way they respond.” She explains that we all have expectations that we carry around with us all the time. From morning traffic to the demeanor of an overstressed agent at the MVA counter, we expect people to act in a certain manner and situations to end in a particular way. Due to the power of our thoughs we are rarely disappointed. This made me think of a time not too long ago when I was in the 15 items or less express lane at the grocery store. I didn’t pay attention to the sign and got in line because it was short. As I got closer to the checkout I realized that I had grossly exceeded the 15 item maximum and just knew that the cashier would have a problem with me ignoring the rules. I told myself that she has to deal with this everyday and is more than likely tired of people disregarding the posted sign.

Sure enough as I placed my items on the belt she curtly advised me that I should have been in another line and unhappily scanned my items. This caused my energy to shift and I immediately went into defense mode. I had made an honest mistake, why was she judging me? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who made this mistake before, it's not like I did it on purpose! From the beginning I told myself that she would have major attitude, so it was no big surprise.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you played out a scenario in your mind just expecting the worse possible outcome to happen and then it did? We all have positive and not so positive expectations that drive our lives. From knowing that you are going to have a wonderful day to expecting the boss to suggest an unrealistic deadline for a project, we call these things into existence through our expectations and thoughts.

Fiona suggests a five-step fail proof plan to shift your expectancies from negative to positive:

1. Be Vigilant. It will take time to identify which expectancies need to shift. It is very important that we pay close attention to our mental chatter. If a negative belief comes up immediately change it to the positive. So instead of “the checkout person is going to give me major attitude” think “the checkout person is very understanding and enjoys helping out people like me.”

2. Guard Your Conclusions. We form our expectations every day based on what going on in our life and around us. It is very important that as we are taking on new expectations they are positive, and not limiting or negative.

3. Stay Cheerful. When life throws us lemons, let’s make yummy lemonade! It is very hard for negative beliefs to invade our space if we are happy and joyful. Though challenging at times we can all look for the silver lining and at the very least shift our energy with a smile or a laugh (which can be VERY contagious!)

4. Be Grateful. Most of us have heard it time and time again ¬ “stay in an attitude of gratitude”. Instead of focusing on the things that can/should be different or better be happy for the things in your life that are wonderful and blessed.

5. Choose Optimistic Friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friends at one time or another that are a little less than positive. Maintaining a positive attitude is hard enough but can be made more difficult if the people in your inner circle don’t share these beliefs. Think of the old saying “misery loves company.” If that is true then happiness and joy loves company too! So surround yourself with friends who choose positivity over negativity and support one another.

We know that this life is ours for the taking and it is based on what we expect from it. So knowing this why not expect prosperity, unconditional love, joy, happiness and anything else your heart desires?

It is your right and within your reach so grab it and hold on tight!

The Opinion Trap

Recently I was watching a show about a cooking competition on TV and one of the contestants was hugely criticized by one of the judges on the dish he prepared. Unfazed by the harsh words he shrugged it off and said that it was all a matter of opinion and he felt he did a good job and that's all that mattered. The other contestants looked at him in disbelief and voiced that he should accept the constructive criticism and make the appropriate changes. He reaffirmed his belief in what he presented and advised that if given another opportunity he wouldn’t change a thing.

His statement reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by an unknown author that states "your opinion of me is none of my business." When I first heard the quote I thought, “now what the heck does that mean????.” How could we discount opinions? They are important for our growth, right? As a child I was taught to uphold certain standards and keep in mind how others will react or what they would say. Growing up I had a very "interesting" sense of style and my mother would lovingly tell me that everyone may not get it. Not wanting people to judge me or tell me that I looked silly I would change. As I grew older I found myself trying to stay with whatever was in Vogue¬ despite my secret desire to mix polka dots and plaid!

When I began my healing journey years ago I realized that I was living my life based on what others would think of me or say about me. Instead of bracing myself for constructive criticism I would try to avoid it altogether and be what I thought others expected me to be. I found that this caused me a great deal of mental stress. I vowed to let go and live my life as I wanted to, regardless of what someone may think or say.

Are you stuck in a hold pattern or afraid to express who you really are because others may not understand or get it? Does the thought of constructive criticism make you cringe and unwilling to do the things you want to do? Sometimes we look for validation outside of ourselves when actually the only opinion that counts is our own. This life is yours to live, however you want. There will always be opinions; YOU decide which ones count and which ones don't.

So put on our polka dots and plaid and live life freely!

The Perfection Myth

I’ve always been told I have the “gift of gab” and for the past few years I’ve been putting pen to paper with my random thoughts aka musings. The inspiration for my musings sometimes comes from things that I'm experiencing in my life but most often from the wonderful feedback from those that take the time to read my babblings. One day a dear friend and I were talking about finding the strength to face challenges. He too had been through a lot in his life and in the past his method for dealing with painful challenges was to avoid them.

I told him that avoidance was a tune I used to sing quite well. In my mind it was easier to distract myself instead of facing the problem at hand. In the past I struggled constantly with my weight. Up until college I was a “perfect” size 3 and could eat whatever I wanted. I weighed myself often and took pride in the fact that my metabolism was so great. When I went to college the freshman 15 (more like 25) hit hard. My perfect size 3 quickly graduated to a size 6. Instead of addressing the problem I threw away my scale and bought a whole new set of clothes. This sustained me for awhile, but not too long.

The problem with avoidance is that in the end whatever we are trying to get away from resurfaces and sometimes causes severe emotional ups and downs. Eventually I decided to address my unhealthy eating habits and make a change for the better. Even though I never saw a size 3 again I am much healthier and happier.


As we live there will be parts of ourselves that we will need to work on and it is important that we honor and work on our challenges as they come. It can be a slow process but it is a very necessary one.

In life we are always encouraged to strive for perfection, but what does that truly mean? Does it mean that we are finally free of all of our bad habits, negative thoughts and moments of "insanity?" Are we all going to miraculously "get it" and live out the rest of our lives in a state of bliss and happiness all the time?

Instead of thinking that your life would be perfect if only _________(fill in the blank), know that true perfection is acknowledging that we all "need work" and taking those baby steps to better our lives. So today, honor your unique perfection and embrace that we are all a masterpiece in progress.

Strength and Faith

On one of my beautiful moments of downtime I was channel surfing and came across a program where a man was sharing the challenges he had faced in his life two years ago. The life that he cherished took a downturn in a matter of months. He was laid off from his job, his spouse left him and he wound up losing his home with no place to stay. This left him feeling alone and at rock bottom. After months of feeling helpless and sorry for himself he mustered up the strength to move past this trying time and was able to create a life that was more blessed and beautiful than before. He learned not to take things for granted and that he was much stronger than he could have ever imagined.

His story brought to mind some of the challenges I, and some of my loved ones, have faced in the past. There were a few times where I almost threw in the towel and gave up. I told myself that I wasn’t strong enough to make it through and it would be easier to just give up rather than try and fail. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness tested my faith. I would go through periods of feeling sorry for myself and then frustrated. During some serious soul searching I realized that I was stronger than I gave myself credit for and there is a reason for every situation.


At some point or another we may be faced with challenges that are seemingly impossible to overcome. The limits of our faith may be tested and at that moment our fight or flight response will kick in. We may give away or discredit the power that we have to get through the most serious challenges.

If life throws you a curveball know that no matter what happens you CAN get through it. Have faith that each and every challenging situation can be overcome and in the end you will be stronger and wiser.

Today I pray that you are focused, centered and on task.

Coping with Loss and Celebrating Life

Several weeks ago my daughter sadly said goodbye to her beloved fighter fish Beta. I softly explained that it was time for Beta to pass on and he is in a much better place. Throughout the day she stuck close by my side and I answered her questions about why people and other living things pass on and why she was feeling so sad. When I got official word that Michael Jackson (one of my ALL time favorite artists) passed away last week I thought of the words I used to comfort Brooke

I thought about the wonderful people in my life that had passed away and how I handled it. Some loved ones had lived a long, fruitful life and others I felt left way too soon. But I now know that we all have a higher calling and when it’s our time, it’s our time.



I wasn’t always so reflective and in the past I didn’t handle grief and bereavement well. It would take me a very long time to get back into my normal routine. My emotions ranged from disbelief to anger, then helplessness and an overwhelming sense of sadness and then finally acceptance. Loss is part of the circle of life, and we will all experience it at some point.

We all need to grieve in order to cope with loss. Though it is a very emotionally and physically draining process it is a necessary one. So that it doesn’t create a state of depression it is important for us to first acknowledge what we are feeling and then assert that we will find peace in the loss and return to a happy and healthy state. Creating rituals to honor and cultivate compassion can help us regain a sense of peace and happiness. We had a short ceremony for Beta so my daughter could say a few words about the joy his life brought to hers and how she would miss him dearly. Rituals can be unique and anything that brings your loved one to mind in a happy light.

Life on this earthly plane is a blessing, very precious and sometimes short. Knowing this, be sure to live your life fully, beautifully and full of excitement. Don’t put off the wonderful things you want to do in your life because you don’t have the time – time is there so take it! Call that person you’ve been thinking of, eat a sandwich and potato chips on the good china, take that long walk in nature you’ve wanted to do for weeks.

We are only promised “right now”, so what are you waiting for?

Rest In Peace Michael....

A Reason, Season or Lifetime

I love technology and the “www” but some days I find myself wanting to take it waaay back to the old school when people wrote letters and sent them via snail mail. The great thing about email is that I am able to stay in touch with my family and friends. BUT on the other hand I find myself spending sometimes hours weeding through the SPAM… I’ve been waiting for my free laptop from Microsoft for about 8 years now and surely if I had a rich uncle in the U.K. who had left a sizable inheritance his name would have come up long before someone felt the need to email me (and if my uncle had my email address he should have my cell phone number too????).

One day while on a mission to clear out my inbox I came across a forward from a friend that I had periodically received for at least 10 years now. It was a poem entitled "A Reason, Season or Lifetime" by an unknown author. Instead of deleting the email I was moved to read the poem as it had been several years since I had last read it.

After reading it I found that it held new meaning for me at this stage in my life. In the poem the author eloquently expresses why certain people come into our lives. People who come into our lives for a reason are there to fulfill an immediate need that we are facing in our lives. We may be going through a tough time or a transition and this person either brings clarity or support to where we are at that moment. People who come into our lives for a reason are only there temporarily. The relationship may come to an end abruptly or will gradually fade away. In the poem the author states that "we must realize that our need has been met......and it is time to move on." In this beautiful, sometimes complicated journey of life we meet people who help us get through certain challenges or over hurdles in our lives. Sometimes without notice this person is abruptly removed from our lives and we may feel a sense of loss, but in the end we realize that the relationship was beneficial to our growth even though it ended.

Then there are people who come into our lives for a season. The author explains that certain people enter our lives to teach us something new, something that we have never explored. What they have to share may bring us a great amount of happiness and joy, and in the end we may learn something new and wonderful about ourselves. Once their job is done this person too may cease to exist in our reality, leaving behind the wonderful experience and sense of renewal or growth.

Finally, people come into our lives for a lifetime. These relationships continue to grow over time. It is enhanced by the prior experiences in relationships with those there for a reason or season. Those beautiful souls in our lives for a lifetime can offer lifelong lessons that will help us to continually grow and blossom. Things may be tough at times but in the end it is more than worthwhile.






In the past I mourned people that left my life for whatever reason. Friends that I thought would be there forever, boyfriends, family members that had transitioned… it was always hard to see someone leave my life. I wanted to hold on to the good times and mourn or obsess over the not so good times. As I grew older (and wiser) I realized that everyone has a purpose in our lives.

Instead of looking back and wishing things could be different/better with a mate, friend, or acquaintance, try to see the beauty in the relationship and be grateful for the exchange. No one comes into our lives by accident and regardless of the situation there is definitely something that we can learn from the experience.

Live life freely, abundantly and blissfully! I am glad that at the moment, I am in your life.

[Check out http://www.steeldog.com/reasonseasonlifetime.htm to see the full poem online.]

Create a Life You Love

A good friend asked me to join her book club and, being an avid reader, I eagerly accepted. We each got a turn picking a book to read and when it was my turn I choose Dr. Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intentions: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way. I read it more than once and each time I get something new from it. A few days before our meeting my friend advised me that she and the other members were having problems with the concepts in the book and she was afraid that we would not be able to have a full discussion about it. The idea of setting intentions was a new concept and a little daunting.

I remembered I had to read and re-read the first few chapters of the book in order to understand what intentions really are. Eventually, setting intentions had become such a routine and valuable part of my life that I couldn't see others not doing or understanding it. I explained to my friend that setting an intention is simply speaking what you desire as if there is no question whether it will happen. Setting intentions is much more than just setting goals. It gives us a level of control over our lives and lays out the groundwork for our day, week, month or longer. Through setting our intentions we can create a life that we love.

Has there ever been a time when your day started late, and you didn't take a moment to pray, meditate or just be thankful for a new day? Did that sense of urgency and things not working out carry throughout the rest of your day? I'm sure this has happened once or twice (or maybe more) to a lot of us. By simply taking a moment and setting an intention you can shift your energy and change the course of your day. Normally I set my intentions before I start my day, but they can be set at any time.

In his book Dr. Dyer outlines four easy steps to set intentions:

Step 1: Discipline. In this step, Dr. Dyer explains that we must retrain our bodies to perform as our thoughts desire. This will most likely take a little time to get used to as it entails us quieting our ego mind and making a daily commitment. Most of us already have busy schedules and the thought of adding anything else may be a little daunting but in the end it is well worth the effort.

Step 2: Wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom will help keep us on track. We can stay motivated and inspired by reading, praying, meditating or anything else that keeps us emotionally and spiritually fed. It will give us patience as we connect with our mind/body/spirit.

Step 3: Love. Love for ourselves and what we do is very important. This process of reconnection with self is dependent on love. Everything in our lives should come from love and be done with love. It will make us feel good and keep us motivated.

Step 4: Surrender. Dr. Dyer describes this stage as "the place of intention...where your body and mind aren't running the show." For most of us, surrendering is a very difficult thing to do as it takes a lot of trust and belief in the unseen.


Today, take a moment to reflect on how your day is going so far and how you are feeling right now. If it isn't going the way you would like, set (or reaffirm) your intention for today, and wait for the shift to happen! May your day be filled with joy, happiness and everything your heart desires.

Grounded in Gratitude

My life has blessed me with many successes, challenges and unexpected events. I often share my hopes and dreams with my family, friends or whomever happens to be around while I am daydreaming. Through their love and support I have been able to accomplish so many things and I eagerly look forward to the next big leap.

I always make it a point to talk and dream “as is”, meaning instead of wishing I am constantly in a state of gratitude, knowing that all of my desires will manifest in the perfect time. I’m always talking about my new 5 acre wellness center and new studio locations.

Someone will always say that they hope I don't forget the "little people" when I become successful. It always makes me laugh because in my reality there are no such thing as “little people.” Everyone in my life (including you, whether you are following my musing or stumbled upon it) contributes greatly to my current and future success.

We often stand in awe of people that get a lot of media attention for taking their talents to another level to gain stardom. What we may fail to realize or recognize is that here and now, in our divinely inspired lives, we are ALL great and worthy of awe. Fame is almost always associated with greatness but know that we don't have to be “famous” in order to be great.

In case you haven’t heard it today, you are wonderful, inspiring and a blessing. You decided to take a pause in your busy day to read my musing and it is because of you I stay motivated and have the courage to share.

Continue to be great, grounded and a blessing.

The Power of Positive Affirmations

This summer-like spring weather has me excited about going to the beach this year. I always try to do a little more physical activity in preparation for my “beach attire.” Since I already do yoga and dance almost every day I decided to add something more aerobic to my repertoire. Since I already spend enough time away from the family I decided to do something in-house. My daughter got a Wii Fit for her birthday so I decided to use it as a way to workout.

When the program started there was an option to do a body assessment. At first I thought there was no need to because I am already in decent shape. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to go on and do it. To my surprise (more like horror) not only was my BMI (body mass index) borderline overweight but also my "real" age was eleven years older than my actual age. My little “Mii” went from looking fit to having a bulging belly and a hunched spine (which reminds me, I need to contact Nintendo about being a little more sensitive). I reset the game and tried it again and the results were only slightly better. That sinking feeling set in and my mood went down south.

There had to be something going on, it had to be some sort of mistake. I eat well, drink more than the suggested amount of water and I am a yoga and dance teacher for goodness sake! Not one to stay in a bad mood I started to meditate and do more yoga to shift my energy. Though my meditation and yoga practice helped me feel better my mood did not fully improve. I thought back to the days in high school when I was a size 3 and could eat whatever I wanted without worrying it would stick to my hips. At this stage in my life I am healthier than I had ever been in and I was allowing this silly little game get me down.

I needed to do more to get out of my funk. During my meditation I pushed the negative thoughts away but in essence they were still there lingering in the background. I decided to face these thoughts and flip it. I listened to my inner chatter and wrote down positive affirmations to counter self-defeating thoughts. Positive affirmations are powerful statements that transform negative energy by changing our internal dialogue. So instead of “I feel fat” I wrote down “I am fit”. Another powerful affirmation that helped quite a bit is “I am the perfect size, the perfect weight and in perfect health.” It put everything into perspective and addressed exactly what I was feeling.

I recited my affirmations several times a day for the next few days and had a few written on sticky notes around the house. Slowly but surely my mood was lifted. I don’t want to be a size 3 again, I am happy at the size that I am and I truly feel WONDERFUL! My body isn’t stricken with constant colds anymore and my asthma is a thing of the past. The affirmations not only lifted my mood but they reminded me that I have a lot to be grateful for.

The beauty of positive affirmations is that we can immediately shift negative energy by changing our inner dialogue. If you are stuck in a rut or need positive reinforcement, here are five simple steps for creating your own unique positive affirmations:

1. Make a short list of things that are contributing to negative thoughts/feelings.

2. Write the list again in a positive sense. For example "I am overweight" becomes "I am healthy, happy and the perfect weight." Be sure to begin each with "I" and write it in the present tense as if it were already accomplished. Statements should be short and concise.

3. Believe in your affirmations! Don’t write anything that would cause you to say “yeah right!”, they have to be true to you.

4. Put your affirmations where you can see them daily. They are best put in places that you frequent such as the kitchen or bathroom.

5. Repeat your affirmations (with conviction!) several times a day.


Negative thoughts and bad moods happen - we all have our moments; it is part of the human experience. Despite it all know and believe that we can create a life that we love.

Remembering resolutions

Oh my how time does fly, taxes are due, April showers are making way for May flowers and New Year's resolutions are probably quickly becoming a fleeting thought :-) My resolution of letting go of my superwoman complex and having more downtime has been a tough one to stick to. The state of the economy and other world events have more and more people seeking ways to reduce stress and live a more balanced life. Organizations have started hosting more health fairs and stress management workshops to help employees cope with the economy woes. As a native New Yorker and a recovering “A” type personality I lived through years of self-induced stress and was very sensitive to what was going on in the world. Through yoga and meditation I was able to relax, reconnect to joy and look at life from a more positive perspective. Because of this I welcome each and every opportunity to share the wonderful benefits to all that will listen.

After one particularly hectic weekend I almost gave up on my sole resolution. My calendar was jammed packed with activities for the next several days and no break was in sight. Even in the midst of the recession I am blessed to have a steady flow of work. It would be crazy for me to turn down an appointment or class opportunity, right? Old anxieties snuck up on me so I took some time to meditate to gain clarity.

After several minutes I decided to stay on task and created a rule of three "R's" for when I needed guidance and/or motivation. If you are at an impasse with your resolution(s) try my three “R’s” rule:

1. Revisit. Ask yourself, "is this resolution still relevant to where I want/need to be in my life at this time?" If the answer is no let go and find peace with your decision.
   


2. Revamp. If this resolution is necessary for you to live a happy and balanced life and old methods aren't working, revamp your plan of action. Explore ways to achieve your goal(s) by utilizing different methods.
   


3. Reconnect. We are capable creating the life that we desire. In order to do this we must reconnect with our source energy - happiness. Find joy and happiness is all that you do ¬this will keep us all motivated and energized.
   
   May you continue to be surrounded by love, joy and happiness.
   

Creating Karma

A few weeks ago I did something that I haven't done in a very long time - I watched the news. I decided a long time ago that I would only watch the news long enough to check on the weather or traffic. If I watched any longer I would often feel drained, angry, paranoid or just plain fed up. A story about a fatal attack on a mother and her teenage daughter in their home caught my attention. They lived very close to me and apparently this was the second case involving a vicious attack on a mother and her daughter in the area. The story left me in tears and angry that someone could so callously take precious lives. Then paranoia crept, I have a daughter and sometimes we are home alone. I ran around the house, checked all the locks, turned the alarm system on and grabbed tightly held my confused daughter.

The story stayed on the news and I made it a point to tune in every day that week. I prayed that those responsible were caught and brought to justice. I watched the news every single day, sometimes twice a day. Each day that I watched I felt a little more saddened and frustrated that justice hadn't been delivered.

At the end of the week I finally turned the television off and emotionally disconnected. This was a horribly tragic event and I was sad that it happened…. but there was nothing I could do about it and seeing justice done would not change the fact that precious lives were lost. It is not my job to be judge and jury. Instead of harping on the sadness I instead sent love and light to the families.

In life, we are constantly creating our own karma. Some of us may feel that karma is about judgment or an eye for an eye, but it isn’t. Karma is simply the universal law of cause and effect. Every action, every word, every thought carries energy out into the universe and shapes our present and future experiences.

Wayne Dyer says “how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” So the next time someone steals your parking space, cuts you in line without permission or makes a rude comment just smile knowing that it’s not about you. Continue to create good karma in your life by detaching from the need to see justice done or to deliver payback.

Today and each and every day: live your life fully, honestly and with respect for yourself, others and nature.

Spring cleaning

Spring is finally here and as always, I look forward to my annual cleaning rituals. The house will be cleaned from top to bottom (much to my family’s delight), papers will be shredded and recycled, and items that are no longer needed will be donated to worthy causes. Though the house is well maintained for the most part, a good hands and knees scrubbing with a toothbrush is necessary at least once a year *s*.

My house isn’t the only thing that gets cleaned during the change of season. Each year I cleanse my body temple also. I normally spend at least a week fasting and cleansing, doing longer meditations and daily positive affirmations.

I use my meditations and positive affirmations as a way to clear out mental clutter. My mental clutter consists of a string of random thoughts such as “how did I let things get out of hand” or “I should have taken the time to do more.” I allow these thoughts to come to the surface and through love I acknowledge and release them and heal each one as they come up. Instead of beating myself up I am instead motivated knowing tomorrow is another day and a second chance to get back on track.

The road to total health and wellness is oftentimes a challenging one. In a “perfect” world we would all be consistent and there would be no unexpected challenges on our journey. The reality is that we all have the best intentions, but due to the wonderful unpredictability of our day to day lives we may get off track a little (or a lot!). This time of year gives us all the opportunity for a fresh start or at the very least a reminder to pick up where we left off.

As spring blossoms take the time to cleanse your body temple – starting upstairs, waaaay up in the attic. Brush away the cobwebs of self-doubt, wipe away thoughts of unworthiness. Open the windows so that the shadow of fear and frustration disappears in the bright light of hope and love.

As always, wellbeing starts in the mind – so what’s on yours?

The fear of failure

Recently during my daily ritual of sorting through SPAM emails I came across one that was junk mail but I decided to read it anyway. It began with a quote by Canadian actress Mary Pickford: "you have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." It made me remember a conversation I had with my doctor several months ago. During the conversation he asked me if I had any fears or phobias. Immediately I shared with him my phobia of clowns (I'm working on not having to hide behind my husband at circuses!) and my fear that something will happen to a loved one. He told me to dig a little deeper and asked if there was anything else.

After a few moments I admitted that I am proactively working on my fear of failure. In the past, my fear of failure held me back from taking on new projects and exploring my budding creative talents. I felt if I didn't try then there was no way I could fail and nothing would be lost. But in time my fear of failure actually felt as if I was failing myself. I wasn't living an open and free life because I was scared of what was out there and not measuring up to expectations (namely my own). Several years ago someone shared the true meaning of fear with me. F.E.A.R. is "False Evidence Appearing Real." We tend to put ourselves through a lot emotionally and mentally, which can cause us to see things in a distorted way.

The truth about failure is that it doesn't have to exist. Things may not work out in the way that you intended but there is always another day to get closer to your goal. Tomorrow always presents the opportunity to do it better if needed or at the very least do it the same way again!

The art of mindfulness

Don't your just LOVE the snow?! I was beginning to wonder if we were going to get hit with some serious, stay at home (and not just for a dusting) weather. This last storm, along with a bug that has made its way around my household, allowed me a little more down time. Since my physical yoga practice was on hold I decided to do "mental yoga" by browsing through B.K.S. Iyengar's Light on Yoga, a comprehensive manual on the philosophy and practice of yoga.

There were a few yoga asanas (postures) that I wanted to explore on a deeper level once I got better. This day I decided to actually read the forward and introduction. I've had the book for years and, as with most of my books, was too excited about the book to read the introduction. I came across a Sanskrit saying - mana eva manushyanam karanam bhandha mokshayaho (yes, definitely a tounge twister!). The saying translates "as the mind, so the man; bondage or liberation are in your mind. If you feel bound, you are bound. If you feel liberated, you are liberated."

For several moments I sat in silence trying to figure out what that meant to me. Sitting on my bed surrounded by tissues I realized that my current state of health began in my mind. My daughter, who normally cartwheels after every two steps, was totally zapped and didn't want to do anything but sleep and drink water. I looked at how she was affected and in the back of my mind knew that if she was down for the count I'd better get ready to follow suit. Have you ever been around someone who was sick and immediately thought "oh no, now I am going to get sick"? You sit back and wait for it to come. And then lo and behold you wind up getting sick!

This can be true to many other situations that we first play out in our mind. When we think of the worse case scenario we are putting ourselves through mental anguish so that we'll be prepared for whatever happens.

If that is the case (and it truly is) then why not think of the best case scenario and whatever happens, happens? We have the power to create our own realities and it begins in our mind. If you want happiness, joy, love or freedom create it first with your thoughts.

Living on purpose

I woke up early this morning to do some quiet meditation before my family started putting in their requests for the day. Last week was hectic and I needed to clear the mental clutter before beginning another week. After my meditation I looked at my bookshelf and remembered there are a few books on my "to read" list that I haven't gotten to yet. I was instantly drawn to The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose by Matthew Kelly. A dear friend had given me the book a while ago and I did read it but for some reason couldn't remember the concept, other than what the title suggested.

Always knowing that I am drawn to things for a reason I closed my eyes and opened the book to a "random" page. I landed on page 139 entitled Why are we all so busy? Smiling, I was once again reminded of my resolution to slow down, which I am still working on with an open heart and no self-judgment. The chapter discusses the author's life and what led him to write the book. Like many of us he reflected on the concepts of life and death, God and religion, society and other emotions the average human experiences. He wondered if he was put on earth for any real purpose. I've often reflected on about our ability to make choices and how we have the power to do anything our hearts desire, but what we may forget or not consider is that we are all here for a purpose that was decided a long time ago.

Many of us know and feel what our purpose is but for whatever reason choose to take our lives in a different and sometimes unfulfilling direction. So how do we start (or get back to) living on purpose? Matthew Kelly states that "our lives change when we stop merely replying to questions and begin to ask them." If you need to know your purpose just simply ask and be open to seeing and accepting the answer you receive.

We are in the midst of a Universal shift in consciousness and change. Now is the time for us to truly live our destinies and share our light with the world.

May your existence be filled love, laughter, happiness and purposeful living.

Let yourself be open and free

This has been a wonderfully exciting, emotional and historic week. My daughter turned 7 years old on Tuesday and I was able to witness history (from the comfort of my home of course!). Grateful for the downtime, I decided to treat myself to a massage and acupuncture to relax. At first it was strange being the one on the table, as it is I who normally gives the treatments. It took a while for me to relax as I found myself taking in everything and wondering "what's going to happen next?" I found myself trying to figure out what energy line was being worked on and if there was anything I could incorporate into my practice.

As I stared at the ceiling and took in my peaceful surroundings a conversation with one of my massage clients came to mind. She was an executive at a huge firm and was responsible for making most of the decisions at her company. It was hard for her to relax during traditional massages so she decided to try Thai Massage since there is a lot more movement and she felt she could be more involved. I told her that though the massage is different from traditional Western massage her involvement needed to be very minimal for her to reap the benefits of the session. It took a little while but she finally relaxed and allowed herself to just be in that moment. Afterwards she told me that she just closed her eyes and envisioned she was a bird flying freely and that helped her to relax and let go.

Following my own advice, I closed my eyes and started to truly relax. I quieted my mind and thought of myself as a feather blowing gently in the wind. In that moment I allowed myself to be completely open and free. The rest of the session was a blur but I can tell you that I am still floating in the wind! There are several opportunities for us to be free - worry-free, carefree, stress-free. So I encourage you to take a moment, look out the window or close your eyes and choose to be free.

May this day, and your weekend, find you in a state of peace, happiness and joy.