Monday, March 16, 2009

The fear of failure


Recently during my daily ritual of sorting through SPAM emails I came across one that was junk mail but I decided to read it anyway. It began with a quote by Canadian actress Mary Pickford: "you have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." It made me remember a conversation I had with my doctor several months ago. During the conversation he asked me if I had any fears or phobias. Immediately I shared with him my phobia of clowns (I'm working on not having to hide behind my husband at circuses!) and my fear that something will happen to a loved one. He told me to dig a little deeper and asked if there was anything else.


After a few moments I admitted that I am proactively working on my fear of failure. In the past, my fear of failure held me back from taking on new projects and exploring my budding creative talents. I felt if I didn't try then there was no way I could fail and nothing would be lost. But in time my fear of failure actually felt as if I was failing myself. I wasn't living an open and free life because I was scared of what was out there and not measuring up to expectations (namely my own). Several years ago someone shared the true meaning of fear with me. F.E.A.R. is "False Evidence Appearing Real." We tend to put ourselves through a lot emotionally and mentally, which can cause us to see things in a distorted way.


The truth about failure is that it doesn't have to exist. Things may not work out in the way that you intended but there is always another day to get closer to your goal. Tomorrow always presents the opportunity to do it better if needed or at the very least do it the same way again!

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